Never have I been more grateful to have found something that I thought had been permanently lost.
By default, I blame most physical and cognitive symptoms that I experience on Parkinson’s. As a degenerative, progressive condition, it seems reasonable to assume it is singularly responsible for the insidious and relentless assault on body and mind and the subsequent sense of loss that is left in the wake of its trail of destruction.
I’m aware that it is disingenuous to be delighted when friends describe symptoms that I recognise, poor memory, poor concentration, poor sleep and attribute them to the menopause. I’m thrilled that these symptoms may be related to my age and not Parkinson’s because no matter how tough the menopause might be, it will come to a natural end. There will come a time when it will quietly disengage from our bodies and our lives and leave us in peace to immerse ourselves in growing old gracefully. Parkinson’s on the other hand will not quietly disengage from our bodies and allow us to grow old gracefully. It will work its way into the very core of our being and thrust us at an accelerated rate towards old age and infirmity.
Recent months have presented a significant increase in symptoms. Shaking limbs have drawn unwanted attention. Embarrassment becoming an almost a permanent companion. Everyday activities became chores and simply getting showered, dressed and ready to face the day was exhausting and frustrating. As daily activities became more challenging, they demanded more of my attention. The need to focus on daily activities left little capacity for fun and frivolity and socialising was becoming a chore too. I had an overwhelming sense that before I was ready, Parkinson’s had taken from me something which could not be recovered. I feared I was losing ‘me’.
Fast forward a month when I had an out patient appointment with my neurologist. Despite running late, with a full waiting room of patients still to be seen, he gently questioned, patiently listened and reassuringly suggested a number of treatment options, filling me with hope and confidence. Perhaps because the six months or so leading up to this appointment had been the hardest yet, I didn’t resist the suggestion that I might benefit from increasing existing medication and adding in some new ones. I came out with a jointly agreed plan and a reassuring sense of optimism.
Within a few days of being on this new medication regime there was a vast improvement in many of my symptoms and three weeks later it feels as good as it gets eight years into a diagnosis of Parkinsons. The heavy load has been lifted. Everything feels lighter and easier. I can carry out daily activities without having to think about every step. Much of the time my hands do what I want them to do without making a chore of everything. Along with many other things, dressing, chatting, exercising and decision making return to their rightful place in my consciousness but not taking it over. I’m back socialising and friends notice the change in me. I’ve got more energy, more oomph and most importantly, I feel like I have found my old self again.
Image Sources: ClipArt Library
Challenging Times 
Hi Alison so pleased to hear that you meds which has given you better quality to life .. sending all our love always Rich and Ju
Glad things are looking better – a positive message helpful to the rest of us! Keep up the good work and the blog
Aaah that’s good news Alison, I’m glad things are easier x
Beautiful post.
Sent from my iPhone
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So, so glad you have found yourself, and have renewed optimism and focus. I hope it continues and you are able to enjoy the upcoming festivities! Xx