Shades of Grey

Having recently watched ‘Belfast’ and then ‘The Tourist’, I was reminded of the time I met the actor Jamie Dornan, originally from ’50 Shades of Grey’ fame. If laughter is the best medicine, this one photograph has done much good for my health and that of many of my friends. Enjoy a laugh at my expense!

50 Shades of Grey
I wore my Cure Parkinson’s vest with pride
I was training hard for a charity ride
The Raid Alpine challenge promised to test
The stamina and fitness of the best

Doing some training alongside me
Was Mike Tindall, of course, with his MBE
The Cure Parkinson’s charity CEO came too
William Cook, who we both knew

When, for our cycle, we were getting prepared 
A socially distanced photo we shared
Granted, we’d not actually cycled as yet
But the photo, I thought, was as good as they get 

For miles we cycled up hill and down
Through drizzling rain and numerous towns
Stopping just once for a quick coffee break
Where our generous hosts had made us some cake

Now, there are some things that don’t go well together
My hair for example and really wet weather 
Parkinson’s symptoms and the cold are not good
So I’d put on as many layers as I could

At the end of the ride, I was dismounting my bike
When a man came over and started chatting to Mike
This cannot be real, this must be a dream 
For naked, this man, I was sure I had seen 

We were introduced and I tried to keep cool 
Not wanting to appear a bumbling fool 
But the words tumbled out and all I could say 
Was ‘Hi Jamie Dornan from Shades of Grey’ 

A photo was taken at the end of the ride
With Jamie Dornan at my side
How envious, I thought, my friends would be 
That I had a photo of Jamie and me

Remember I’m thinking I look fairly fit 
I had just finished cycling 40 miles and a bit
I’d forgotten the wind and the rain and my hair
I’d forgotten I’d put on 26 layers

Now, photogenic, I may never have been 
But a worse photograph I have never seen
A mad looking woman with hair all a-frizz
How can I possibly look worse than this?

My sister who loves me and is usually kind
Screamed ‘Dame Edna Everadge springs to mind’
And then she dissolved into hysterical laughter
And could not stop for some time after

Many months have gone by but my friends still joke
About the photo of me with the ’50 Shades’ bloke!